Unique Challenges in 2023

It’s natural to think that once we moved into our new home, the challenges would be over, but we’re not quite there yet. Moving into a new home is only phase one of the process. We left behind furniture to either sell or donate at the old house. We also have a lot of stuff to be picked up by the Got Junk folks. One family is keen to buy our Port Moody home and have removed three of four subjects, however, they must sell their home before they can purchase ours. It’s a domino effect and since I have no control over that I try not to fret about it.

We also have smaller things to take care of at the new house. Like buying a new kitchen faucet because the current one barely functions. We also have to figure out where to place the plants we brought with us, including my mom’s rose bush (it was given to me in memory of her passing four years ago). There are also paintings to hang, new furniture deliveries pending, and so forth.

As you’ll see from the photo, I’ve discovered that we have what I think is wisteria (correct me if I’m wrong) growing at the side of our house. Lavender and lilac plants also grow on the property. Since we looked at and purchased the house in November, it’s a nice surprise to see what else will be blooming now that the warm weather has arrived.

Additionally, and this is the personal thing I mentioned in last week’s blog, I had surgery on Thursday to remove a small mass in my chest, near my heart. The surgery went well and the pathologist’s report will be available in about three weeks. The surgeon doesn’t think the growth is cancerous, based on previous CT and PET scans and the MRI in February, but we’ll see. I was allowed to remove the bandages last night and finally take a shower, (this was laparoscopic surgery) but I can’t lift anything over 20 pounds for 6-8 weeks, which means I won’t be a helpful grandma over the coming weeks. Since I had a chest tube inserted after surgery, I had to stay overnight, but received good care at the hospital. I’m taking it easy now and planning to catch up on reading between the mandatory short walks and inevitable naps.

Unfortunately, my sister needs another surgery, as the surgeon apparently wasn’t able to remove all of the cancerous tissue during the April 13th surgery, so she goes back later this month. The good news is that the cancer didn’t spread to her lymph nodes, so chemotherapy won’t be necessary, just radiation. Later this year, my son-in-law is having shoulder surgery, so it seems this is a year for fixing things 😊

I had hoped to get back to work on more mystery writing this spring, but given everything that’s going on, it seems smarter to stick to one thing, which is fantasy writing and research these days. It’s my hope that life will be calmer once summer arrives and I can be more productive, but until then, we do what we can and what we must to be our best selves.

And belated Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! My daughter was sick yesterday, so we’ve postponed our celebration till next weekend.

The Only Constant in Life…

I’m sure you know the ending to this blog’s title, and you probably also know how true it is. Change is coming for me and my family. My 83-year-old mother had cataract surgery last week and is staying with us until the eye drops are finished. Given that she also has dementia, the very notion of expecting her to put three sets of drops in her eyes in the morning and at bedtime, and two more drops at lunch and supper, would for never have happened. Thus, her visit.

After nearly four stressful years of watching her slowly deteriorate and six months on a waiting list, she will be moving into assisted living next month. The problem is, we haven’t told her. The surgery was a bit traumatic for her, since she didn’t think she needed it in the first place, and the Ativan given at the hospital knocked her off her feet, literally. Having lived on her own for 40+ years, the idea of sharing meals in a communal dining room bothers my mother immensely, even though she’ll have her own little kitchen.

Still, the move needs to happen for her own safety and for the family’s peace of mind (and no, she doesn’t want strangers coming into her home to assist her). We found a wonderful place that offers full memory support, closer to where I live. This should be a win-win, but have you ever heard of an aging parent who says, “Oh, boy! Assisted living? Sign me up!” For many of us, quite the opposite is true.

Once she’s there, my sister and I will go through the arduous task of sorting through what she won’t be taking with her, recycling and reselling what we can before selling her condo.

I’m therefore leaving my day job (a part-time secretarial position), whether permanently or temporarily is unknown. Either way, it looks like I’m heading toward semi-retirement, which is actually fine with me, as it could mean more writing time. I’ll also continue my job as a facilitator for the writing program through Port Moody Parks & Recreation, which I really enjoy.

I’m not looking forward to the talk with my boss at the end of this week, or the inevitable talk that I and my sister must soon have with our mother. Although I don’t like letting people down, the coming changes don’t frighten me. In fact, I welcome them. The amount of work, physical and emotional, is daunting, but I’ve been preparing myself for a while.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep blogging, and reading, and writing, because I love doing those things. I haven’t spent as much time as I‘d like writing or editing lately, but I do a little bit every day. I’m blessed to have something I can feel passionate about, and it keeps me from becoming too morbid about real life.

It’s likely there will be a new routine to adjust to in the fall, and that a lot of good will come from the upheaval this summer. Old chapters are about to close, but honestly, I look forward to starting new ones. In life, as in writing, I always want to know what will happen next.